If only you'd known you were going to trade...
Monthly PMS for nine months of weeping
Lacy thongs for cotton tents
Sex for gas
Zinfandel for warm milk
Birth control for laxatives
Going to the gym for getting up to pee
Your waist for a hot-air balloon
Kickboxing for kick counts
Your innie for an outie –a way-outie
Sleeping for groaning
Freedom for the most intense love you've ever known.
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